Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

69

Kenny died. The Bastards.

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

where are you?

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

The WNBA

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...