What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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bum sex lol

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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