How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

A new restaurant KKKcake

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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