How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops