What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops