A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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