What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops