A seal walks into a club.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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knock knock who's there police

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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I like pom

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops