You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

united we sit, cause we're fat

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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