What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Women's rights.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Guess what? No.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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