Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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knock knock

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops