How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

this is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

you know whats weird about italians? their italian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops