If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

The Holocaust

whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

Knock Knock. Come in.

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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