There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

mc hammers income.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops