Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

thumb_up thumb_down -13

1 Jew XD

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I got shot once it hurt a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops