OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

Hearpin my durp

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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