Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Women's rights.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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Homework.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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