How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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myspace

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Japan called... They need help.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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