Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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