how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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