Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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A jew go out of a bar

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops