How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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