Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

thumb_up thumb_down

"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Blarg

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's fat and ginger? My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops