What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

HARRY EFFING STYLES

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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