Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Your mother

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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