wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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womens rights!

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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