whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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