A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jake Bowar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The glass is half an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops