if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

A muslim paints Mohammed

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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