What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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