My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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