When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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