A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

White men's rights

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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