How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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