What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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