Andoni was here

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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sky silverstein

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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