What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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bologna

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops