Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...