Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops