I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops