Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

your mom.

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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