Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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watch a i d s left

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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