It's likely that very few people will read this.

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like if your cool

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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