How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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