What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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richard is fag

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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watch a i d s left

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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