Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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