'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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