Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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