A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down +8

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops