What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Allah walked into AK Bar

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

time to spruce up!

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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