5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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