Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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