What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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