Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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