Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Brain fart

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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