A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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My Nan, that is all.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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