A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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