Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Carrot fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops