Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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