What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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