At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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