-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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