Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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