Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops