Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops