Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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