Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Cripples are lame.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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