How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Click here for free sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops