"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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