What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

The Labour Party.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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