What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops