why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops