what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Men's rights

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops