Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops