- Anti Joke

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs