What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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