Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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