Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops