A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops