A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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