Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Gay rights.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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