Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops