Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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