Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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