what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

thumb_up thumb_down -29

hi jonny

thumb_up thumb_down -31

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops